Sunday, September 2, 2012

Yes This is a Test

As an MS victim individual, I never dreamed that I would be disabled. Who would, unless they were in to nightmares? Who would ever expect to become a burden to others, dependent on friends and loved ones for things that we all take for granted? Sure, these things do happen, but they would never happen to me. Right?
I am certain that most of us MSers share this basic feeling, regardless of gender. What I believe matters most are what we do with our lives once the reality sets in. Maybe, it doesn't fully sink in for some time? It didn't for me. I was going to beat this thing, bounce back, overcome the dread disease, in the same way I had always successfully overcome obstacles, by shear determinations: resolve, action, faith and âWill~Power!â This is a test.
Well, it was most frustrating to discover that my old methods of passing the tests were largely ineffective in the battle to be normal again. I had the resolve, just not the endless reservoir of energy from which I could always draw.
I would take actions, affirmative actions! Some of them impulsive and not affirmed by my physicians and professionals who have had experience with âProblem~Patients,â like me. I would become a test for them. I would even become their problem. Yeah, as if they didnât already have enough tests of their own going on in their professional and personal lives?
OK, I would defeat this deceitful devil then with faith. If I havenât been as close to my Devine Maker, Iâll see is I can be reunited. Heb.11:1 says, âFaith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not yet seen.â Well, I havenât any problem with the hope aspect, at least. And
James 2:26: âFor just as the body without the spirit is dead, so also faith without works is dead.â I am already into the works by my taking actions. Right? If Iâm not getting the desired results, perhaps I will need to study further? Job 36:15: âHard times and trouble are God's way of getting our attention!âI am not really certain I like that...
Increasing my frustration was the fact that the strength, I could muster, was being increasingly consumed by mundane tasks involving movements. Simple things, like taking out the trash, were not so simple anymore. Everything, it seemed, was now a major task, an incredible object to be overcome.
At every turn, the same ugly question loomed, âShould I do it myself, or ask someone with legs that work to do it for me?â Tough test for an individual who has been independent. I suspect that this feeling of frustration has engulfed virtually every person with a debilitating disease or physical injury. Our response to this critical question is the subject of this article.
For slow learners, like myself, who resist what ~ we must come to realize ~ would have saved other people an incredible amount of frustration, this is an âOpen~bookâ test. Question: âShould we routinely ask others to help us?â Answer: âWe should ask for help.â
If our marriages and relationships survive, we learn to appreciate our partnerâs commitments to us ~ in ways well beyond what we might have ever imagined that person capable of. Maybe, we might wonder, if the situations were reversed, would I have been so committed? I hope so, but really ~ I wonder ~ would I have been?
When we fail to ask our partners or others for assistance, even when we want to believe we can do it ourselves, we put even more of a burden on the very ones we donât want to bother. Hey, they are bothered! I see it is a selfish act to cause people who care about us to worry that we might cause injury to ourselves or to others.
Perhaps, my limited energy could be better utilized by writing articles that will help others speed up their learning curves. Huh? Is this the best use of my âWill~Power?â