Our Pagan Kids

Sojourner at A Pagan Sojourn has been revisiting the debate over whether Pagans should teach minors. There are two different types of minors we can be teaching: ours and other people's. In this entry, I'll deal with ours.

It's a well known fact that most Roman Catholics baptize their children within the first year of life. It's also commonly accepted that baptism is the sacrament that frees people from original sin and from personal guilt. Baptism has another, much less talked about, purpose. It confers sanctifying grace and membership in Christ and in the Church. The Church believes parents are responsible for the education of their children and that includes religious education. For once, I agree with them.

I don't have children, but if and when I do, you can bet your crystal ball that I will be raising them Pagan. I can already hear the critics mumbling something about forcing religion down the throats of kids. I have to wonder why some Pagans, who claim not to believe in extremes like absolute good and absolute evil, have to be so absolutely extremist. It's either nothing or shoving. Let's have a healthy middle ground, shall we?

Parents make decisions for their children all the time. They decide what clothes their children wear, what school they go to, what foods they eat, when they go out, when they have to bathe, clean their rooms, what books, movies, music, and television programming they are exposed to. Yet when it comes to one of the most important contributors to our identity, of morals, and our view of the world, Pagan parents think it's wrong to decide what kind of spirituality their children should have.

As children grow they naturally make more and more decisions for themselves, but if there is no strong spiritual foundation by the time a child reaches his/her teens, that child is going to have a much more difficult time in life. Children that grow up without a spiritual foundation grow up more confused and more susceptible to dangerous outside influences. Faith is a tool that can help us make choices and deal with crisis.

Our values, morals, and ethics are colored by our religion so I find the concept of not raising our kids in our faith very strange. If your child comes to you asks why Ben has two mommies, which answer will you give him/her? The Christian or the Pagan answer? If your child asks you what that five pointed star in a circle means, which answer will you provide? The Christian or the Wiccan one? Or will you simply put it away and tell him/her to run along and play? That's fine; perhaps your friendly Baptist neighbor, whose child plays with yours, can provide the answer. If your child asks what happens when you die, what will you say?

I believe Paganism is one of the most joyous, exciting, participatory, and healthy forms of religion on the planet. When I think about all the wonderful things in my life that are a result of being Wiccan and of my relationship with the Goddess, I can't imagine denying my children of that. The coven I belong to has three children, ages 11, 9, and 6. They are wonderful, bright kids with healthy attitudes towards sexuality, their bodies, the environment, and life in general. They are being raised Pagan and while they don't participate in our Esbats and magickal work, we often craft some Sabbats so that they can be present.

I often hear the argument that children are not ready to learn about mysticism. Well, my little niece isn't ready for trigonometry, but she can add, subtract, multiply, and divide. Most parents and teachers know what their kids can and can't handle and we all develop our skills and comprehension with growth and experience.

None of this means that children can't learn about other religions. In fact, I guarantee that your children will learn about Christianity (and a little about Judaism) whether you teach them about it or not. Christianity saturates our culture and despite the First Amendment, many public schools teach and celebrate Easter and Christmas (and perhaps even Hanukah and Kwanzaa). It also doesn't mean that Pagan kids will grow up into Pagan adults. Everyone undergoes a period of exploration and introspection, but if a Pagan child has grown up in a loving and supportive community where his/her questions have been answered in a fulfilling way, he/she won't be gone long. After all, there is no void that needs filling.

Besides, Paganism opens the door to the study other religions because Paganism draws inspiration from so many of them. Looking around at my circle of friends, all of which are some variety of Pagan, I see the world -- Hinduism, Santeria, Celtic, Greek -- and when I look at our Pagan kids, I see the future.